HONEYMOON: THE NO LIST

We have two goals for this particular honeymoon:

No hickies.

No babies.

See you in ten days. <3

The No List : Crying

To avoid a blubfest I would probably have to drug myself before the wedding. So crying itself is not on the No List.  What IS on the No List is Ugly Crying.  There will be no Ugly Crying at this wedding.

That one of Britney is my favourite.

The No List : Fire

Well?  Am I wrong?

The No List : Cake Face

WHO THINKS THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?  WHO?  I WANT TO KNOW.

The No List : Bridesmaid Dresses

Don't be fooled -  the bridesmaids will be wearing dresses, but not matching ones. Take a boo at how amazing a wedding party can look when you don't all have to wear the same thang.

THE NO LIST: GARTER TOSS

I can't believe I even have to address this.  Seriously.

The No List : baby otters

There will be no baby otters at the wedding.

I am allergic. 

The No List : Slideshow

You guys all know what Warren and I look like, right?  And we'll be in the room with you, right?  All dolled up and posing for pictures?  I'd be so upset if you were looking at anything but the head table.

WHAT'S A ZAC EFRON?

The options aren't endless.  When all you are is a suit, and a pair of shoes, how do you get creative as a groom?  That's correct: with your facial hair.

No.

 I don't understand what happened to the mustache.  When did it get so blown up?  Fake Mustaches are on the NO List for 2O11.  If I see anyone with a mustache on a stick, they don't get dessert at the reception.  (And trust: you are going to want dessert.)

OH, the scruff.  So soft, so debonair. 

More scruff.  I think we know where this bride is leaning. (Also, have you seen Warren without scruff?  Dude's nothin if not scruffy.)

We call this look the Baby's Bottom.

Between the beard and the drugs, they're no way to tell what year this is.

I don't care how twelve Zac Efron is.  Look at him.

Dear Warren: It's not too late to start growing out your sideburns and Elvis hair.

This is one classy beard.

I have mixed feelings about kissing that.

And of course, my personal favourite:

{ The Riddler goatie. Damn.}

Next Time:  Bridal Cleavage: How much is Too Much?

the "no" list : bouquet toss

Honestly, the bouquet toss has never really been my thing, so I'm not too choked to see it go.

The NO List

One of the most gratifying aspects of Wedding Planning has been the creation of  a "NO" list. The NO List is simple: a list of things that will not be found at our wedding.  The list is growing, so there is a good chance that I will be posting many NO List items as they crop up.  Such as the following:

{ The Open Mic }

This is not an opportunity for your relatives and friends to perform their stand-up routine.  This is not the night to tell inappropriate or irrelevant or extra long stories.  This is a wedding.

{ Children }

Don't get me wrong: bring your children to the wedding.  Bring them to the reception.  But don't tell me that your kid wants to be stuffed into a huge dress and told be still and shut up for an entire day.  She doesn't.  

{ Huge Wedding Party }

We don't even know this many people.  And while we're at it, No Overalls.

If you were getting married this year, what would be on your NO List?