Wedding Vows

I, groom, take you, bride, to be my lawfully wedded wife.   In spite of the fact that right now, here today, we are both the thinnest we will ever be.  And also I make these vows not because I think you are amazing but because I think you are the best that I could do, and I'm afraid of ending up alone like my dear old Aunt Tessy, so we'd better close the deal.  So I promise before God, our family, and our friends to hold you and cherish you within reason.  For richer or for poorer, so long as the standard deviation of our net worth represents no more than a twenty percent change over the course of a one-year period and no two consecutive years of loss.  In sickness and in health, so long as said sickness can be managed effectively with home-based care within the benefits provided by one job or both and with the hope of recovery within a timeframe that matches one month for every year of marriage and that our disability adjusted income falls within fifteen percent of our standard yearly income and involves no open pus-y sores of any kind, because I just can't do it. And for better or for worse, so long as worse never starts to feel like "not worth it" anymore.

thanks, chris.

The No List : baby otters

There will be no baby otters at the wedding.

I am allergic. 

The Happy Bride: hawaiian, please

nesting

When I'm not bossing Warren around I like to make things for our new place.

Warren will be so happy he has a place to hang all his gangster chains.

Getting Prepared

It's a broom brooch!  Get it? Because I'm going to be a wife!

Or a witch. But that's up to you, Warren.

The No List : Slideshow

You guys all know what Warren and I look like, right?  And we'll be in the room with you, right?  All dolled up and posing for pictures?  I'd be so upset if you were looking at anything but the head table.

Pie Squared

This morning's breakfast is brought to you by the Happy Bride diet.  It's half a pie.

how I feel...

...about getting married.

happy happy joy joy.

WHAT'S A ZAC EFRON?

The options aren't endless.  When all you are is a suit, and a pair of shoes, how do you get creative as a groom?  That's correct: with your facial hair.

No.

 I don't understand what happened to the mustache.  When did it get so blown up?  Fake Mustaches are on the NO List for 2O11.  If I see anyone with a mustache on a stick, they don't get dessert at the reception.  (And trust: you are going to want dessert.)

OH, the scruff.  So soft, so debonair. 

More scruff.  I think we know where this bride is leaning. (Also, have you seen Warren without scruff?  Dude's nothin if not scruffy.)

We call this look the Baby's Bottom.

Between the beard and the drugs, they're no way to tell what year this is.

I don't care how twelve Zac Efron is.  Look at him.

Dear Warren: It's not too late to start growing out your sideburns and Elvis hair.

This is one classy beard.

I have mixed feelings about kissing that.

And of course, my personal favourite:

{ The Riddler goatie. Damn.}

Next Time:  Bridal Cleavage: How much is Too Much?

officially engaged

you're not officially engaged until you have official engagement photos.  here's the first of a swath of photos:

{ all our ethereal wedding photos will be done by AG Photography, so get pumped. }

dead tired

I really want to post about groom facial hair today, but I just got home from my first day of work at a funeral home, and I'm all tuckered out.

Ask me how many bodies I saw.

xo

THE EGG

Today's Happy Bride Diet hot ticket item, and Jesus' favourite treat:

Eating an entire bag of mini Cadbury Creme Eggs makes me feel less guilty than posting this picture.

groom (ing)

Coming Soon: facial hair options for Your Special Day

Tie your mother down.

spread these on my feet

Ok these haven't been released yet, but unless I find something else that keeps me up at night and tip-toes around my shoe dreams, I think these are The Ones.

{ Butter shoe from Beholden spring collection }

they're just children

Can you believe these two weenies are getting married?  Who ok'd this?

{ The girl-child hasn't even lost her puppy fat yet! }

to veil or not to veil ?

Someone wise once told me that without a veil, a bride is just a girl in a white prom dress.  Unfortunately for this particular bride, when I tried on a veil in addition to my dress, I looked like a straight-up nun.  So begins the search for something to wear on top that won't have me confused with Mother Superior.

{ a work of art: this headpiece by Twigs & Honey }

{ Lo Boheme's Ava Tulle veil }

{ Love me some feathers! Bando's Hollywoodland hairpiece }

{ this veil by Twigs & Honey is blowing my mind. }

{ Bando Rose Halo }

{ The Sparrow, by Unveiled Bridal Designs }

the "no" list : bouquet toss

Honestly, the bouquet toss has never really been my thing, so I'm not too choked to see it go.

The NO List

One of the most gratifying aspects of Wedding Planning has been the creation of  a "NO" list. The NO List is simple: a list of things that will not be found at our wedding.  The list is growing, so there is a good chance that I will be posting many NO List items as they crop up.  Such as the following:

{ The Open Mic }

This is not an opportunity for your relatives and friends to perform their stand-up routine.  This is not the night to tell inappropriate or irrelevant or extra long stories.  This is a wedding.

{ Children }

Don't get me wrong: bring your children to the wedding.  Bring them to the reception.  But don't tell me that your kid wants to be stuffed into a huge dress and told be still and shut up for an entire day.  She doesn't.  

{ Huge Wedding Party }

We don't even know this many people.  And while we're at it, No Overalls.

If you were getting married this year, what would be on your NO List?

Cydney is as garlic does

Tonight's Happy Bride menu item is garlic chicken tortellini smothered with butter and covered in parmesan cheese!

{ Viva Italia! }

Date Night / Game Day

The theatre was way too packed the other night so Slim and I decided to raid the Superstore for choice snacks to eat while watching tv at home.

The choicest of snacks, and this week's Happy Bride Diet Feature: Hot dog flavoured potato chips.

{ You can even taste the bun. }

A HOT GROOM HOW-TO

What's the point of looking fantastic on your wedding day if you're getting married to some hobo in a suit?

The following additions to a man will turn his groom appeal up a notch or 2:

{  a fresh hair cut and a perfectly fitted suit. photo by Beulah Anne } 

{  lil details like fancy socks.  photo by Jose Villa  }

{ no socks. photo by Jill Thomas } 

{ a non-leather belt. photo by Josh Goleman } 

{ this face.  photo by Tec Petaja } 

{ a cigarette.  photo by Erin Hearts Court }

{ a great tie.  photo by Braedon Photography }  

 { a scarf! photo by Braedon Photography }

{ a beard. photo by Tec Petaja }

{ good shoes. photo by Beulah Anne }